Sunday 24 November 2013

The Dejection : A prayer

There are days when it feels sick, all of it 
There are days when you do not know who you are
and the misty crystal surface reflects that familiar stranger 
waving by 
She turns away for there are days that intimidate you  
beyond your wildest dreams
a breakdown for I don't know her,I can't see her for shes lost
the days when every step and every word you utter is an effort
I look at her as she tries to appear strong and answer their questions
I search her eyes for a hint of a tear or two
but shes heck good at this...
like the gloomy skies resisting thunder
Deep Inside she knows every question they raise makes her shiver more
yet defiantly she maintains the indifference.
Surrounded by the hues of her own darkness
shes Lost..
an empathy for her muse's dejection enveloping her soul 
and now she knows
that his claws that clenched her can contain her no more
the demon was slowly loosing that hold..
'yes' she says,there are days when I loose my faith in everything I see and everything thats me
yet I turn towards 'thee'
for thou as my shepherd we rise together
a pocket full of sunshine, the Knights armor and might
Sila's conviction and Solomon's mines
everything that is you and now 'I'
I walk in faith
for miracles do exist and paths are made"
for she might fail a ten thousand times
yet the 'illumination' of that 'bulb' shinning too bright 
is worth a strike..


Tuesday 19 November 2013

Sarah and Klarke : A dilemma unresolved

If you love a flower, don't pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies,
and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.
Osho

But she thought she owned him and thats where it went wrong,the love that had transcended any known bounds its arrogance that had to be tamed and eventually humbled as she Let Go..
and learnt really to love in the appreciation of it..

Sarah slept a sound sleep something that she felt proud of for it had been so rare in last some months,she liked laying in the comfort of her mattress,enveloped in the warmth of the quilt that covered her trying to make sense of the bizarre dream she had only to be distracted by her cell ringing,she rubbed her eyes another time as she finally came to her senses..It was Klarke.
Next thing she knew she was getting ready to see him and its after ages she had her heart pound so fast and loud but she didn't even have time to notice it as he would be here so shortly..
So he was here,she thought as she walked towards the spot where they usually used to meet. It had been three months since she saw him last and all this while she didn't even know if she would see him at all and yet now she was here and in next some mins,he would be in front of her..three months of hating,cursing and yet loving him with every passing day
He stood where he always did just as charming she thought as she trudged towards him,they smiled and greeted each other..
Klarke,the man she loved standing next to her and an absolute silence as she had a glimpse of that morning in her mind,the morning that would change her life forever,the sun and the moon together at that moment of twilight and a secret its majesty that only both of them knew and realized as their souls imbibed on its purity in their sheer union,the morning she witnessed another realm; the realm of Magic as they experienced it together but a serpent had crept in her Eden and yet she retained that smile even after losing it all..
The Morning when it all started..
and Now The sky looked beautiful again as they stood together..
"You look beautiful."
"Thank you :) ". She blushed and yet there was a comfort now that was unknown to her.."so the same place" she said lost in Nostalgia
"Yep,all the same;the place,the bike,You and I And yet so different,time changes everything so much,Wish If it could be played again n again,some moments" he said as he stared at some distant place looking thoughtful.
And if that could be done,well she wouldn't ever let that morning end but this night was beautiful as well as she pointed a star or two to him as they stared at the infinite horizons together as if invoking that which was greater than them bringing them together again..
"Its conspired" She mused. Yet they had evolved and were different people now that all that time had passed,with their own set of stories that probably the other didn't know and she couldn't decide whether to be sad or rejoice the very bliss of not knowing the reason he left
Her mind was bombarded with a zillion questions at once,she wanted to ask him why he didn't turn up that night while she waited for him...She wanted to know what had kept him away for so long and all that she could mutter was " You didn't see me while you left?"
"Well,I am here,Better late than never". She did not know what to draw out of it yet she always knew in her heart that they would meet..and here he was.She didn't want to dig it further not sure of all that lay beneath the surface which probably would only get her pain and she loved him too much for any confrontation,she loved him unconditionally.It was like he lived with her in her mind his presence her constant companion at times made her cry and then it made her smile yet she never asked him to be back for she loved loving him and expecting nothing in return,it did seem idealistic but he never ceased to accompany her each day,every day;his essence surrounding her..His words "Have faith in what you stand for" her pillars of strength when she needed it,that morning never ended in her mind for she lived it every day and then she realized she needed no answers for he had made his choices and she respected them as much as she loved him...yet the dilemma reverberated again.
She smiled,her resignation had brought her an unusual grace and once again like their first meeting the breeze that had turned much colder now brushed across her face and her hair again touching his face due to their proximity.She was getting cold now and for once she wondered if his hands were just as war and the next thing she knew he took her hands in his;his touch its warmth penetrating her entire being..
She didn't know if she could take it,the surge of emotions that the gesture triggered and the denying was no more,she loved him still and she had always known it she realized as a tear or two fell and she looked away struggling to hide her face as she always did and silence reverberated aloud as they stood there staring at the sky,his warmth infusing her in entirety as their fingers mingled together expressing all that was beyond words..
and soon it was time for him to leave and as he kissed her hands softly a final time she felt an irresistible urge to ask him " You wouldn't leave me ever again,Would you ?" for she didn't know what to make of it and where they stood but the next moment she realized it didn't really matter now.The little uncertainties of life, that dwelling in the unknown,the unfamiliar; essential spices to an existence too plain and somber.
 As she walked away from those familiar terrains yet again the dilemma echoed aloud yet again..
 not knowing whether to acknowledge the majesty of having seen it or to lament over a loss so dear to the soul...
To rejoice in the absolution of the fact that he came or to brood now that he was gone..